Shades in Shadows
by Adi
Summary: SusanTalia It was a dark night on a planet known for it's dark nights.


Title: Shades in Shadows.

Paring: Susan/Talia

Category: Angst

Summary: It was a dark night on a planet known for it's dark nights.

Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and its characters are the property of Babylonian Productions, PTN Consortium and Warner Bros. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Beta Thanks: Thanks to whitestar2 and Aris. Couldn't have made it readable without ya.

Author's Notes: I actually wrote this months ago and in the process of beta'ing became convinced it sucks the big one, so I forgot about it. Recently I was going through my notebook and rediscovered it. Deciding that it wasn't as bad as I had originally thought, I gave it another beta and and now you get to see it. For better or for worse, this is how I'm starting the new year.

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It was a dark night on a planet known for its dark nights. She walked through a maze of dark, lonely, silent alleys to avoid the celebration taking place on the main streets. She wasn't in the mood for a celebration. Hadn't been in years, but the locals had asked her crew to stay, and diplomacy demanded she accept. She wasn't even sure what they were celebrating.

"Susan?"

Later she'd tell herself (because she would never ever tell anyone else) that she had felt her coming, that she had heard her footsteps, her breathing and smelled her scent... and in her dreams that was how it would happen. In reality however she was caught completely by surprise. Her heart jumped into her throat and her pulse quickened in the natural fight or flight reflex Earthforce had honed into a fine-edged sword.

She turned slowly. Later she'd tell herself that she hadn't been affected by the sight before her. That the image of that golden hair, those beautiful eyes and that mouth, oh that mouth, did not soften her heart and tug at her chest.

It did.

Who are you? Fluttered through her mind, "What do you want?" Was what she asked.

"I was hoping you'd be happier to see me." Her voice echoed through the empty street, giving it a slightly ethereal edge.

"I was hoping I'd never see you again." Susan replied, hardening herself against the blonde's flinch. _Just good acting,_ she reminded herself. "You don't always get what you hope for."

"I'm not her." There was venom in her voice; flowers would have wilted. "She's gone for good."

Susan nodded. "Of course."

"I'm telling you the truth!" Susan just looked at her. "There's nothing I can say to make you believe me, is there?" Susan said nothing. "And you'll never let me close enough to find out for yourself, will you?" It wasn't really a question. "So we're at a standoff."

"No, we're not." Susan turned to walk away. She was stopped by a gentle hold on her arm.

"Susan," Talia whispered.

_Stop saying my name_!

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry she hurt you. I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry I couldn't get back before you lost hope. I'm sorry."

Doubt, sharp and chaotic like a fist banging on a piano, made her stop. If this was Talia she couldn't leave like this, and if it wasn't... well, what if it was?

She turned. "You did nothing," she said. "Whoever you are, you did nothing. I'm poison. Everything I touch, everyone I love ... dies." She tried to keep her voice emotionless but just couldn't seem to hold on to the monotone. She closed her eyes. If she'd had tears left she would have cried. "It's too bad I didn't figure it out before. I could have saved you a world of pain."

Two hands on either side of her head, and a face so close to hers she could feel the heat radiating off it.

Don't let her touch you! small voice screamed inside her.

"It wouldn't have mattered." Susan could feel the words fall on her lips resisted the urge to lick them up. They would have tasted so very sweet. "If I had known I would have just chased you harder. Made you let me in sooner. I would have done anything to give us more time, but I wouldn't have given you up for the world."

Kiss her. The thought seemed to come from nowhere, but it had been building up like a flood, a trickle at first, a tickle of an idea. _Just one kiss. Just one more sweet memory to hold at night. One more kiss to drink to._

She surrendered herself to gravity, to the hands cupping her face, slid forward until her lips were on Talia's. Susan's arms rose, as if completely independent of her brain, to hold on to Talia's shoulders, not pushing, not pulling, just holding, just for a moment.

Fireworks exploded behind her eyes, her blood turned to acid and her insides tore themselves to shreds. The pain was all consuming as she knew it would be. There was no way it could have been any other way. She wanted this so much for so long; how could it not hurt? Yet the kiss continued and continued and continued until they were both running out of air, and even then it was the reluctant pull of their bodies that stopped it.

Susan pulled back and looked in the blonde's smoky eyes. There was a glimmer of hope there, of joy so ready to be felt. Her heart froze. "If you're who you say you are, there's nothing here for you. If you're not, then it doesn't matter anyway." Susan turned around and walked away.

She didn't look back.


End file.
